The Good Mother

There are many varieties of mothers, but all of them strive to be good mothers. People tend to agree that a mother is a woman who nurtures and has responsibility for her child. Defining what makes a mother a “good mother” might sound difficult in our increasingly pluralistic society, but it is actually an easy distinction. A good mother is a parent who does everything in her power in order to fulfill her duty to her child.

It is best to begin the definition the most basic level. If you ask a biologist, a mother among humans is the female half of one’s genetic inheritance. She is the being that donated half her genetic code to the creation of a new organism. She gives birth and raises this offspring to take her place when she dies. To a biologist, the idea behind motherhood is simple: one’s genes wish to live forever, but one’s body can only last so long. Therefore, genes recombine in order to adapt over successive generations.

A mother’s duty to her child is in that mothers exist just as children exist to perpetuate the human species. A good mother is a mother who does everything she can to ensure her child is healthy and ready to live on his own. It is part of the process of one generation passing the world on to the next, and the older generation is in part responsible for the younger generation it raises. If the younger generation fails, the older generation loses everything as well.

The truth is, motherhood is many things to many people. To some children, it is in the nurturing and loving warmth of their matriarch. To others, it is a nightmarish relationship of abuse. In Africa, children call all adult women “mother”. To many teenagers, mother is the annoying lady who won’t let them go out at 3AM on a school night. The truth is that many women who could never give birth become loving mothers to children without parents, and many women are terrible and monstrous people to their children. Good motherhood must be understood through the biological, emotional, and ethical perspectives.

A key aspect of motherhood is providing for the biological needs of the child. Motherhood is an entirely biological relationship, so much so that the entire species is dependent upon successful motherhood. If mothers do not raise children, humanity is doomed to extinction. A good mother must raise her children to be healthy and strong, so that her children can raise more healthy and strong humans to carry on into the next generation.

Part of providing this health and strength is providing a stable, loving environment in which the child can develop. To this end, mothers must love their children and tend to their emotional needs. Emotional neglect can hurt a child in a manner comparable to starvation. A mother must provide the first crucial emotional bond with her child if the child is to have healthy relationships in the future. However, ethics dictate that a mother must balance her instincts to protect and nurture her child with her child’s need to develop independently. A mother should not control every aspect of her child’s life to the point where the child makes no real decisions. If she does so, the child will not know how to make decisions when that time comes. A good mother should not put her emotions and needs before those of the child.

A good mother providing for the biological needs for her child extends far beyond giving birth. In fact, most would say that giving birth is not enough. Most mothering happens when the child is outside of the woman’s body, as the child grows and experiences the world while the mother protects, for the good of the child and of the species.