The Dramatistic Take on Love

While many regard the film industry as nothing more than a means of entertainment for the occasional rainy day, the fact of the matter is that film and theatre represent a major form of rhetoric. One film, in particular, Crazy Stupid Love starring Ryan Gosling and Steve Carell who portray characters Jacob Palmer and Cal Weaver, embodies a dramatistic rhetoric of many of the uncomfortable or unfortunate events that all people experience at some point in their life. The opening scenes of the film depict a married couple out to dinner whose marriage is clearly and well past the honeymoon phase. Bored with what their marriage has become, Cal’s wife bluntly exclaims that she wants a divorce. The next scene in the film shows Jacob attempting to pick up a woman that is reluctant to succumb to his charm and eventually leaves the bar, never assenting to Jacob’s attempts. Next, the story turns to a young boy, Cal’s son, who professes his love to his babysitter, a girl four years his senior. The remainder of the film focuses on how each of these relationships undergoes change as people move on and deal with the disappointments and surprises of life. Specifically, Crazy Stupid Love represents a dramatistic rhetoric in how the film conveys ‘the chase’ associated with the formation of relationships, the feeling of being ‘dumped’ and some of the awkward moments that surround it, the happy facades of miserable people, and the notion of never giving up on your one true love.

One of the strongest themes portrayed in the film is the perpetuity of ‘the chase’ in love. From the onset of the film, Cal’s son Robbie, played by Jonah Bobo, is determined to win the affections of the girl of his dreams, his babysitter Hannah portrayed by Analeigh Tipton. Despite having been caught by Hannah in one of those prepubescent acts of indiscretion, Robbie is determined to demonstrate that his love for Hannah is true and undying. Beginning his quest by insisting that when doing it, he is thinking about her, Robbie quickly realizes that perhaps there are better methods for conquering the affections of a young maiden. After endless text messages and a public profession of his devotion in the public schoolyard, it seems that young Robbie’s efforts are only making things worse. And despite Robbie’s young age, the age-old story of boy-chases-girl-until-girl-falls-in-love-with-him is one that nearly every man in the world can relate to. And not only men, but there are surely multitudes of women who have spent months or even years yearning over some crush with whom they worked or even possibly dating one of their friends. It is an unfortunate and often times upsetting situation in which people find themselves when they are in love with one who simply does not feel the same, but it is also one of the experiences that often characterizes life, whether in childhood or adulthood. Indeed there are few who can say that they have never experienced the feeling of loving one who failed to reciprocate, whether because of being otherwise engaged romantically or simply because that person was never told that someone had romantic feelings for them. Moreover, the film does a fantastic of job of conveying the emotions that surround a boy, or girl, when ‘the one’ is reluctant to give in despite repeated inquiries or advances.

Another concept in this film that resonates with men and women of all ages is the feeling of being dumped. Whether in regards to a relationship of 5 months or 5 years, the ending of a relationship is one of the grittier aspects associated with dating and romance, and it seems that the ending of a relationship always leaves one party emotionally distraught. While the desire to end a relationship is sometimes a mutual decision, more often than not there is one party in the relationship that is taken by surprise and one who has felt the need for ‘space’ for quite some time. Crazy Stupid Love intricately explores some of the dynamics that often accompany such dissolution. For example, in the opening scene when Cal and his wife are having dinner, the boredom in their life is clearly apparent, when Cal goes on and on about how much bread he ate, which in turn filled him up so much that he is unsure if he even wants dinner, the viewer can feel the dull nature of their marriage coming through the screen. As such, it really comes as no shock when his wife abruptly announces that she wants to get a divorce. Additionally, when Hannah senses an imminent proposal is on the horizon only to find out that the ‘surprise’ of her special party was instead her boyfriend’s offer of a full-time position with his law firm, her reaction is one that many can relate to. Often times in relationships it seems like one party is always waiting, hoping for the other to catch up and get on the same page. Unfortunately though, as many of us can attest to, such plans rarely come to fruition and separating is nearly always the only solution to such a predicament.

Another poignant component of this film is the manner in which Jacob Palmer, the character played by Ryan Gosling, lives his life. On the surface, it seems like things couldn’t be better. Each and every night as he hits the bars, beautiful women flock to him and he never goes home without company. This, however, represents one of the classic facades in life in that people whom we often consider to have great, interesting, fulfilling lives are often the most empty inside, with the fewest genuine companions. Furthermore, this particular component of the film succinctly demonstrates how analyzing what is happening in a situation like this is best achieved via dramatism when one considers why people do certain things in certain situations (Brock et al., 24). All throughout the training process, where Jacob is instructing Cal ‘how to live’, showing him which shoes to buy and which jeans are appropriate, the viewer gets the sense that Jacob really does have an awesome life. It is not until Hannah breaks things off with her boyfriend though, and runs literally right into the arms of Jacob, that we discover a different side of him. Rather than immediately hooking up as he would with other women, Hannah’s inebriated state keeps a lid on any racy encounters and ultimately makes the evening all about the intimate conversation. In an enlightening display of honesty, Jacob’s request that Hannah “ask him something personal” illustrates just how empty his life truly is. Even despite the inordinate number of women that Jacob has casual relationships with, his desire for genuine intimate interaction demonstrates how vain and shallow his relationships with other women have been. Furthermore, this sentiment represents yet another instance of Crazy Stupid Love relating feelings that many who may appear to be happy on the surface might actually live sad, miserable lives. Many would argue that the example of Jacob in the film is actually representative of many individuals whose outward lives, however fantastic they might seem, are something of a façade to cover up their inward depressions.

Another concept of the film that accurately depicts a certain reality in the social realm is that often times, the harsh, bitter truth is the best antidote for overcoming stalled progress in certain areas of life. A better way of describing the film though might be in what author John Cragan calls "rhetorical dramas that form a community’s social reality” (5). When Cal finds out that his wife is looking to divorce him, his bar-room advances towards women are generally ineffective and more often ignored. Whether for a genuine connection or a casual hookup, it is clear that Cal is hoping to get a woman’s attention any way he can. Unfortunately, his endless chatter surrounding the details of his affair, along with boring stories about his children and his own life, is not generating the results he is looking for. After a couple of embarrassing nights, Jacob Palmer can take no more and insists that with his help, Cal will not only be able to get any girl he sets his eyes on but that his transformation will inexorably cause his wife to realize the magnitude of her mistake in leaving him. After some extensive reparations to Cal’s wardrobe, hairstyle, and level of fitness, and a few nights of falling on his face in the game of picking up girls, Cal begins to get the hang of things and before long is right there with Jacob in the suave department.

While reinventing yourself for the sake of increasing your chances that women will climb into bed with you might not represent the most appropriate situation for doing so, the film nonetheless illustrates how at times, having been stuck in the same routine year after year can cloud one’s judgment in certain aspects of life. Cal, for instance, has no comprehension of the inappropriate nature of Nike New Balance shoes concerning the social nightlife scene. While the same principle applies to Cal’s notions about his haircut and choice of jeans, the most important concept of this particular aspect of the movie concerns the idea that people do not always have the capacity to objectively look at their lives and point out areas that need improving. Furthermore, in rectifying such imbalances, the film demonstrates the value of enlisting the help of others who might be in a better position to educate, or who have demonstrated success, in the areas that require improvement.

Finally, perhaps the most dramatistic aspect of this film relates to the overall story’s theme of never giving up on someone when you think that someone you love just might be ‘the one’. As has already been illustrated, Robbie’s seemingly eternal devotion to Jessica strongly demonstrates the film’s attempt to convey this concept of never giving up. Still, much more potent are the events that transpire between Cal and his wife Emily. After being told that his wife wishes to divorce him and that she slept with another man, Cal’s initial reaction is to simply remove himself from the situation. Frequenting bars are learning ‘the game’ from his new friend Jacob Palmer, it appears that Cal is attempting to move on with his life as fast as he possibly can. However, there are still scenes that take place during the time of their separation which depicts a man who is not fully recovered from the recent collapse of his marriage. After initially trashing the garden and back yard of his former home, Cal later sneaks in to begin gradually mending the damage he caused. And towards the end of the film, the interactions and feelings between him and his wife during the phone call where Emily feigns ignorance regarding how to ignite a pilot light clearly show a couple that, despite having made some unfortunate choices in recent months, truly miss each other. These scenes, combined with the sentiments expressed by Cal after interrupting his speech, strike a chord of an emotion that many lovers ultimately experience. In essence, the film’s rhetoric seems to convey the message that when you truly love someone, sometimes there are going to be difficult moments in the relationship where one or both partners may simply prefer to abandon a relationship that took months, years or even decades to build. While comprehending the magnitude of having to endure an affair might not be something easily accomplished by unmarried couples, any person who has ever been in a relationship of any reasonable length of time understands that sometimes, loving the person you love is downright difficult. However, when such events represent the possibility of losing your soul mate, the film illustrates that perhaps reconciliation is still the best course of action and that, at times, the person that you want most in life must continually be fought for.

In the end, Crazy Stupid Love represents a wide range of dramatistic rhetoric that encompasses a myriad of human emotions. From awkward situations that pervade breakups to the feelings that accompany them, this film manages to delicately express many of the sentiments that nearly everyone experiences at some point in their romantic endeavors. In addition to conveying some of the commonly felt emotions of breakups and romantic relationships, the film also focuses on one of the more positive aspects of love and dating. Not omitting the fact that the film is largely based on the hope of reconciliation in a struggling marriage, Crazy Stupid Love delivers a powerful message of never letting go of the things you hold most dear.

Works Cited

Brock, Bernard L, Kenneth Burke, Parke G Burgess and Herbert W Simons. "Dramatism as ontology or epistemology: A symposium." Taylor & Francis, (1985): Print.

Cragan, John F. "Rhetorical strategy: A dramatistic interpretation an application." Communication Studies, 26. 1 (1975): 4-11. Print.