Discussion Questions for “The Pleasures of Love” by Robertson Davies

1. Davies’ definition of love is tricky to pinpoint since he notes that it is elusive and is never experienced similarly between two people. The qualities of love that he identifies are its ability to grow and mature; there is a sense that it is always in motion towards an ideal of “perfect love.” For Davies, love is a process and an enduring, loving relationship requires nourishment in the form of communication. Love must be active and worked upon. Davies also describes love as a type of addiction to another person, not physically, but emotionally. Love requires an openness to be felt completely and “a daily affectionate awareness” in a person’s consciousness in order to last.

2. Davies describes conversation as the nourishment required for love to last. A loving relationship, which Davies describes, “membership is two co-equal Perpetual Presidents,” depends on equal participation of the two individual members of this unique relationship. Conversation between the two parties should not need a third person to intervene in any kind of quarrel; this, Davies says, is a sign of a weak relationship, in fact. The ability to communicate to one’s partner is key to enjoying the pleasures of love that Davies’ essay describes overall.

3. Davies engages the reader but addressing him or her directly, often using the second person narrative technique that makes the reader feel as if this is a conversation and not a static essay of which they are aloof. This immediately draws the reader in and sets the tone for the rest of the essay. Davies also seeks to set him apart from other writers that discuss love. He claims to be unlike typical poets and writers who talk about the physiology of love or the psychology of love; he seeks to offer a different perspective, which keeps the reader intrigued.

4. Davies’ metaphor in the fourth and fifth paragraph encourages the reader to consider love affairs, which differs from the pleasure of enduring love, as an emotional sprint. These fits of passion are temporary and not reflective of Davies’ definition of real love, which is more like a marathon run. Love affairs are fleeting and ephemeral, and they often end in a kind of emotional “hangover,” while the pleasures of love that Davies describes are long lasting, committed relationships that work progressively towards the goal of achieving perfect love by the end of their run. The metaphor that emerges when we combined both of these paragraphs is that a love affair is a type of binge, like a sprint or drinking heavily. At the end of a love affair, one might be hangover or emotionally exhausted from the whirlwind of the affair. In real love, the lovers pace themselves and do not indulge in too much passion too quickly, as this often leads to disastrous results and the end of the relationship.

5. The words use employed by Davies in the essay to characterize the relationship between Romeo and Juliet are key to understanding his perspective of this type of fleeting young love. The words “youthful passion,” “furious abandonment,” “pity,” and “detrimental,” are just a few examples of this relationship that would fall into the love affair category as opposed to the pleasures of real, long-lasting love. Romeo and Juliet were acting irrationally, and while their love may have been real in that fleeting moment, Davies’ word-choice suggests this type of relationship is dangerous and often violent, and it would not have lasted if the two had survived until old age. Romeo is criticized by Davies for being “quarrelsome, dashing, and detrimental” in his relationships with other characters in the play, suggesting these qualities would have prevented a lasting relationship with Juliet if Mercutio had lived and things would have played out differently. Juliet is perhaps even more critically described, as Davies describes her as being naïve and gullible to the opinions of her nursemaid. Davies alludes to the Bible and to betrayal suggesting that Juliet may have planted a crown of thorns upon Romeo’s head if the two had survived. It is clear that Davies does not consider the relationship of Romeo and Juliet to be exemplary and he describes their early deaths as pitiful, blaming their character traits instead of the typical interpretation of the play as the two solely being victims of outside forces. Finally, although we are moved by this love affair and feel remorse for Romeo and Juliet, Davies is convincing when he claims. “Clearly, then, the pleasures of love are not for the very young. Since these two characters did not have the chance to grow in love together, this is more of an affair and, sadly, they never did get to enjoy the pleasures of love as Davies describes them.