Bullying as a Part of Life

Bullying has become a cause of concern for parents and educators as they attempt to solve the problem through various anti-bullying campaigns like the NEA's Bully Free program throughout the nation. Schools have begun to develop zero-tolerance policies against any form of bullying within their halls. However the concern surrounding bullying has been unwarranted as bullying is a natural part of life. Children teach each other as a part of their childhood experience. At times this teasing can get up to the level of bullying. The experience of being bullied can build character for a child to learn how to overcome difficult situations. The negative consequences that have been attributed to bullying can have other causes. Bullying is a natural part of growing up and has been for many generations.

Parents have raised concerns that bullying can lead to low self-esteem, poor grades and increased risk for suicide. While the experience of bullying can be a difficult one it does not directly cause the consequences listed above. Low self-esteem and poor grades could be attributed to a lack of parenting that focuses on being involved with their child. If a parent provides praise and encouragement to their child it would offset the effects of another child bullying them. Increased risk for suicide could be attributed to mental health problems that could be exacerbated by bullying or a number of other environmental situations such as having a negative home life. By just focusing on bullying, issues of mental illness and adequate parenting are ignored. 

A trend in parenting has shifted towards overprotection of their children. Parents want to protect their children from the smallest difficulty they may experience. Children have to be kept safe from germs, negative influences, and most importantly low self-esteem. This type of parenting style also focuses on overly praising their children while not allowing them to fail. This creates a generation of children who have unreasonable expectations about their ability and are more sensitive towards criticism. As these children face their peers they face the harsh reality that they are not as superior as their parents have led them to be. Children grow up without the preparation to face teasing or bullying as their parents have provided a cushion for them for too long. This leads to accusations of bullying and a campaign that has been created to fix a problem that does not exist.

Many individuals can recount an instance of bullying that they have experienced and have been able to overcome. While these experiences were not positive, they helped to build character, problem-solving and coping skills that are not able to be taught in a classroom or by overprotective parents. Children will continue to encounter bullies as they grow older. Without the experience of having to face a childhood bully, these children will not have the skills to deal with an adult bully in the workplace or in the store. Attempting to protect children from bullies now does an injustice to them in the long run as they do not develop the skills to stand up for themselves. Rather than focusing on a campaign to end bullying, educators and parents need to focus on teaching children how to overcome bullying and develop skills that will help them as adults.