Divorce and Multiple Factors and Implications for Children

When two people choose to get a divorce, it can be a long, arduous and painful process in many ways. This is especially true when their decision involves children. Because both the causes and effects of divorce may arguably be so potentially innumerable, the subject continues as a matter of public debate. Reports indicate the percentage of divorce has increased and that, although the average age of married couples has also increased, people still are getting divorced more than before. Without correlative effort from parents, the social, psychological and even financial impact of divorce could last for years. Although the degree of this kind of potential adversity poses to kids may appear somewhat colossal, it is not insurmountable. There are ways to potentially identity contributing factors of divorce and remedy its ill-effects.

Major Factors

While the causes of divorce are not always clearly definable, factors that seemingly contribute to it which result in the most substantive and sustain psychological and even social injury to families include a) infidelity; an issue which some believe results in staunch feelings of betrayal and mistrust between parents that extend to children adversely affecting their psychological well-being in the long-term; b) false expectation; residual effects on kids as the parent's needs and wants change over a course of years and failure to meet expectations between the two often breeds distrust and resentment; c) lack of communication; as false expectation may lead to infidelity, the inability of two people to collectively work together to sort through issues becomes problematic for kids in young and adult years; d) incompatibility; substance abuse which sometimes corresponds with parental lack of compatibility may generate various kinds of instability in children.

As parents are hugely influential to their children's' psychological development, the way they behave affects their kids. When they don't model trust in the home, children tend to follow suit, of course, at home and elsewhere, too. Lack of stability in a household often increases feelings of betrayal or mistrust; this is especially true in couples who experience infidelity or incompatibility within a marriage, in particular. Resulting emotions may confuse or inhibit kids in ways they do not even recognize. Many younger children, for example, cannot verbalize what they feel and experience pronounced problems with anger or aggression. This may also be exacerbated by a lack of communication they've learned from their parents which may adversely affect children of all ages. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the “psychosomatic symptoms from resulting anger” caused by divorce, also generates “premature emotional autonomy” (Cohen 1019-1028) which promotes relationship problems for various age groups of the children of divorce. Further, false expectations and resulting aggression born from the “deidealization of the parents” (Cohen) during a divorce, diminish self-esteem. It is reported children with self-esteem problems experience reduced performance at school and even manifest sexually inappropriate behavior in their high school years, as well.

Behavior matters when it comes to kids. Put simply, they copy what they see. If they only witness dysfunction, dysfunction will be the only element that will resonate with them most into the course of their adult years. Parents may better attempt to help kids deal with the causes and effects of divorce, but only if they better understand their own feelings and deal with them accordingly. Effective communication is one of the most powerful tools to help everyone move forward.

Works Cited

Cohen, George. "Helping Children and Families Deal with Divorce and Separation." PEDIATRICS. 110.No. 5 (2002): 1019-1028. Print.

Hong, David. "Children and Divorce." Facts for Families Page. American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 5 Dec 2013. Web. 24 Mar 2014. https://www.aacap.org/aacap/

Kreider, Rose. "U.S. Census." Number, Timing and Duration of Marriages and Divorces. U.S. Census Bureau, 7 May 2001. Web. 24 Mar 2014. <https://www.census.gov/prod/2011pubs/p70-125.pdf>.