Online Dating

The basic argument between online-dating and more traditional or accepted protocols for dating ultimately turns on the issue of practicality. If the primary motivator in dating is to find someone compatible and ideally matched to the individual conducting the search, online dating simplifies and expands the search through extant technology. People loathe to admit that dating may just be a numbers game, and to the extent that these numbers can be both expanded and centrally managed and refined, online dating offers the best chance of discovering a compatible mate. Part of the resistance or alienation to online dating may be the perceived loss of a sense of decorum or propriety sought in more traditional methods of dating, such as introductions through friends, or co-workers. The frenetic pace of technology has perhaps impacted the social relevance of dating and refined it into an efficient computer template, where calculations and interpersonal communication may at first appear detached. Nevertheless, in terms of the underlying motivation of the dating imperative, online dating simply accelerates the choices available.

The alternative methods common to twenty-first-century dating may still feel somewhat disorienting if only due to the rapid onset of internet options for many of the problems that were common before the meteoric rise of computer technology and the often dramatic alterations made to otherwise traditional means of social communication and bonding. Certainly, the older generation is less at ease with online dating than the twenty-something demographic who were raised in an internet culture, and text-messaging psychology, for them online dating is merely another handy option for expanding their prospects socially ( Davis, 2013 ). Perhaps there is still a certain trepidation attached to scouting dates online, if only because of the tenacity of the social aspects of dating that are an integral part of our cultural centering. Face to face introductions and subsequent dating contain a comforting lineage that some are not willing to surrender, even at the cost of a greatly expanded selection criteria. This also touches upon the sensitive areas of the online dating experience: the sense that technology somehow depersonalizes a process that should take place under traditional social criteria, and yet this may simply be a lag effect from the relatively swift transition in dating protocol. Online dating reduces much of the complexity, uncertainty, and anxiety of dating by facilitating choice as the primary driver. The process is expedited through dating-profiles that typically contain recent photos and personal information that may be evaluated for potential compatibility along with other considerations.

Although the perceived downside of the experience is premised upon internet predators and potentially dangerous or misrepresenting contacts, the sheer numbers make these concerns less important than the enhanced benefits of using technology to refine an often difficult and time-consuming process. Remembering that online dating is simply an accelerant and that once a relationship is established the old norms apply, is a good way to maintain a practical perspective. Today millions of men and women utilize the internet in their search for a partner, and in spite of the initial anxiety and ambiguity, the experience can and does produce lasting relationships and even solid marriages. For all of the pros and cons associated with finding love online, the final consideration should be optimal practicality: this is the most efficient and effective way to broaden the search for a compatible and lasting partner. It is disorienting only insomuch as it communicates a radical departure from acceptable dating habits. To the extent that online dating is responsible for more relationships than outdated methods of dating it works!

The extent to which technology has converted our social and intercommunicative norms is transformative, and although the sharp rise in online dating indicates swift assimilation, there are those who may feel alienated by the distancing of spontaneity and organic contact associated with traditional introduction and dating. Technology is steadily creeping into areas of human organization and social practices that are abandoned with sometimes great difficulty. Elevated technology swings in uncertain ways when people perceive a non-specific loss or necessary attenuation of a long-held comfort. Certainly, traditional dating practices have not disappeared or been banished to an older demographic, however, the problem-solving impact of technology can and does enhance dating both in terms of quality and quantity ( King, 2012 ). Once the experience is demystified through the recommendation of a friend or family member who was successful in their pursuit of an online partner, much of the anxiety or uncertainty is removed, and the person may be more willing to give it a try.

Statistically speaking the probability of a productive contact or budding relationship is greatly enhanced through the online dating experience. A common complaint from both men and women is that it is difficult to meet someone either due to the demands associated with work or because the social circles available do not furnish a promising amount of potential partners ( Davis, 2013 ). Other similar concerns are expressed by recent divorcees interested in re-integrating into the dating sphere. In both of these instances, the benefits of online dating are far and away preferable to the older methods of meeting a potential mate. Given enough time to adapt, the experience of online dating will eventually replace the more traditional ways that men and women meet, date and marry, and the sense of uncertainty and inelegance will fade.

The often heard sensitivities and apprehensions associated with not only online dating, but traditional modes of dating as well, should give way to the obvious practical nature of the process and the expedience. Where traditional dating often entails a number of missteps and trails, the allowance of such an expanded choice in online dating may well compensate for these well-intentioned errors. The online experience permits a prolonged calculation and evaluation of the potential suitor, a necessary interview phase before any face to face contact. This is an important consideration, and also a refinement of traditional dating protocols where someone may be pressed for a date or their phone number before they are completely comfortable with the invitation. Online dating can be seen as a filter, a very effective way of refining the search criteria and making the most sensible choice based upon the sober evaluation.

Once the idea of maximizing a search is understood and appreciated, the sense of technology distancing is perceived as merely a faster means to an end. The most compelling argument made for online dating is that essentially it works, some may even argue that it works too well. The individual is in control of the choices that are made, as well as the selection pool from which the choices are determined. Getting past the often dislocating transition from established social protocols, and developing an appreciation for the transformative power of the internet as not only a facilitator of information and purchases but an irreducible aid in navigating the pitfalls of dating and social interaction is a beneficial perspective. This is a new, and in many ways, an exciting century, and the opportunities for communication and introduction are remarkable when compared to even fifty years ago. Why not make use of this extraordinary technology as a social tool as well as a professional tool?

References

Davis, L. (2013 ) Love at first click: The ultimate guide to online dating, pp. 17-18 Publisher: Atria Books.

King, S. (2012) How to find love, intimacy and romance online, pp. 10 Publisher: Nicholas Black.